Wicked Wine Reviews – Trust The Devil You Know

Wine Review: 2014 Essential Red, Bogle Vineyards

*Supernatural: Eleven seasons of wine and demons…and Negan.*

Xavier and I have been watching a lot of Supernatural lately. It’s what we do.

To celebrate Friday night I picked up this bottle of Bogle Essential Red. At $14.99, it cost a little bit more than I usually spend but it is immediately evident where that extra $4.00 went.

Essential Red tastes expensive.

A step above what we’re used to.

Whatever they do, they do it well. This wine is fer-damn delicious.

A blend of Old Vine Zinfandel, Syrah, Cabernet Sauvignon, Petite Sirah, extra Miracle Gro, and some kind of witchcraft, Essential Red combines the best qualities of all the varietals to create a masterpiece.

Velevet, leather, tobacco, chocolate, cedar, juniper and, you know, grapes.

Actually, it’s just grapes. The other stuff is all in your head.

But damn, it’s fine.

The bottle survived three episodes of Supernatural and a romantic cuddle on the patio.

Whatever wine you were planning to buy for tonight, put it down and go pickup a bottle of Bogle Essential Red instead.

Wine Review: Old Vine Zinfandel, Bota Box

It feels like fall in Maryland tonight and, to be honest, I’m not a fan. Summer is my season. That being said, the impending autumn brings with it significant and exciting changes. By the time the snow gets here, I’ll once again be a homeowner in New Mexico. So, you know, maybe fall isn’t so bad after all.

Admittedly, a glass of red wine is nice on a chilly evening. Or a hot evening. Or pretty much any type of evening. Hell, it’s doesn’t even have to be evening. Whenever is fine.

Anyway…

For the most part, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by my explorations into the world of boxed wine. Bota Box did well with this Old Vine Zinfandel. We liked it. A lot.

Xavier has become fixated on the show, Supernatural, and since it is now in it’s 12th season of production that means there are eleven seasons available on NetFlix.

Wine disappears at an approximate rate of two boxes per season so, consumption being what it is, it will be necessary to find many more boxes to try before we get to the end of the show.

Old Vine Zin and Iris kitty are almost the same color.

This is a dark and jammy Zinfandel. A lovely glass of plum, licorice, sage, and a whole lot of oak. I do love me some oakified wine.

Xavier, who is especially enamored with the Old Vine Zin, claims that this one has an upward inflection at the end and that drinking it is like conversing with a Valley Girl.

You know?

Because all statements end with question marks?

He’s funny like that.

I say it tastes like a whole lot of empty box because it disappeared posthaste. No red wine headache either, always an endearing quality.

Wine Review: 2016 Rose’, Dark Horse

I keep trying to like Rose’ while also trying to be frugal.

Generally speaking, Rose’ and frugality don’t play well together, but this one’s not bad.

For $8.99, Dark Horse makes a Rose’ that maintains enough smooth and buttery qualities to make it perfectly drinkable.

Initially, a very bright and crisp wine, I noticed that it mellowed out considerably by the second day. I prefer second day Rose’ and it is excellent paired with a big spinach salad topped with Chipotle Ranch dressing.

I call this my homework wine, for obvious reasons.

Smooth and easy sipping, a little Rose’ helps to drown out the residual bad music that eight hours of stapling idiocracy has left in my brain. Even now as I write this on a Saturday morning, snippets of the insufferably bad music played all day at work still rattle around in my head.

Right now it’s Rachel Platten. Now, let me warn you, I only share this link as a cruel joke. Misery loves company and I think that if I should have to live with the ghost of this horrifically bad song in my head then someone else should too.

Thank you for calling the suicide prevention hotline. Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. And by the time a representative finally picks up the phone, there is only dead silence on the other end.

So anyway, back to the wine. Xavier did not like this one at all so that just meant more for me, which is fine because I have a lot of homework.

Wine Review: 2015 Cabernet Sauvignon, Smoking Loon

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I picked this up on Friday night to celebrate another week of not killing anyone at the nations largest retailer of staplers. One can only take so much stapling idiocracy before it becomes necessary to turn the down the volume on the situation.

Enter stage left: Wine, wine, and more wine.

Xavier and I killed this bottle during the pilot episode of Game Of Thrones (we’re starting over from the beginning), which was so enthralling that I forgot to get any photos of the wine in a glass until the show, and dinner, were over.

You can bet it was good though. We paired it with bread-less cheeseburgers and asparagus.

The tasting notes describe it as having an aroma of spearmint but whoever wrote that was clearly chewing gum at the time. Give this Cabernet Sauvignon a few minutes to air out and open up and it is a wonderfully full bodied and smooth, slightly smoky, cab that tastes like gone.

To be clear, there is nothing minty about it.

Xavier said it gave him a bit of the red wine headache. I, however, slept the night away unscathed.

Smoking Loon is located in Chile as are many of my recent favorites. I think I’m beginning to see what Kricket was saying about other parts of the world tasting better than California.

In any case, Game Of Thrones reminded us that winter is, in fact, on it’s way and on Friday Xavier told the head Staplers that we are moving to New Mexico at the end of the year, effectively letting the cat out of the bag and bringing us one step closer to making our exit.

I won’t mind leaving this place before winter arrives.

Wine Review: Merlot, Casillero Del Diablo

Dinner at Cacique is always a delight.

Wine from the Devil’s Locker puts it over the top.

I don’t know why the waiter decided to tell me about the all the foo-foo wines first. I mean, I was trying to look grown up. I wasn’t even wearing a Hello Kitty tee shirt or anything.

He looked surprised when I said, “I’ll take the Merlot from the Devil’s Locker, please.”

Clearly, he knows not with whom he fucketh.

Anyway, I chose the Merlot because it was the only one on the wine list that I hadn’t already tried.

Fair warning, pull up your grown-up pants before indulging in this one. Made from Merlot grapes grown in the Central-Valley of Chile, it’s rich, deep, and clearly not from a box. That one glass made me walk a little sideways.

Absolutely excellent and velvety smooth when paired with a bold flavored dish such as steak fajitas.

Vanilla, oak, smoke, and chocolate. Oh yeah, and grapes. A wickedly attractive concoction full of bad-assery and sophistication.

You’re gonna want some.

Oh yes, you will indeed.

Wine Review: Dry Rose’, Beringer Main & Vine

Forever the optimist but I really should’ve known better. This Beringer Rose’ is sketchy at best.

One time I liked one of their wines and I keep hoping to get lucky again.

It’s more peach than pink in color.

The label says passion fruit, I say tropical air freshener and cough syrup with a hint of baby aspirin.

It’s better cool but not cold. Being slightly warmer tones down the nauseating notes of Triaminic and Glade.

$7.99 and 11% alcohol.

Spend a few more dollars and get something drinkable.

Wine Review: 2016 Pinot Noir, Bota Box

I usually like Pinot Noir, and I wanted to like this one, I really did.

But I didn’t.

Hard to put a finger on exactly what it is. The box says something about tasting like cola. They call it cola, I call it unfortunate.

Something mid palate hits all the wrong notes.

But that’s just me. Xavier thought it was alright. He drank more of it than I did but we ended up throwing part of it away in favor of something better.

The blessing and the curse of boxed wine is that it comes in large quantities.

I’m generally a fan of Bota Box but won’t be buying this Pinot Noir again. On the other hand, the RedVolution and Nightkawk Black are both very good!

Wine Review: 2015 Red Elegance, Black Box

Hold on to your hat, friends. This one is good, really good.

Xavier and I didn’t mean to kill the whole the box in 3 days. Personally, I blame the box. I mean none of this would’ve happened if it weren’t there in the first place.

In looking back at my notes, I wrote exactly this: “tall glass of chocolate milk”.

Xavier said, “a glass of Johnny Walker because it’s Dyn-o-mite”. Interpret as you will.

Plum, blueberry, chocolate, vanilla.. Finish is smooth like silk.

One of the very best boxed wines we’ve tried thus far.

And check out how beautiful it is in the candlelight.

Wine Review: Pink Moscato, Gallo Family Vineyards

It tastes just like… pink.

It’s been a pretty long time since I’ve had any Moscato wine. Once upon a time it was the only varietal that I liked.

I call it the gateway wine. Believe it not, there used to be a time when I thought I didn’t like wine. I call it the time before wine, or B.W. for short.

Truly, this whole wine infatuation is Xavier’s fault. I learned it by watching him.

I said, “I don’t like wine”, and he said, “here, try this.”

See there, that’s how it started, but at the time I thought I only liked wine that was pink and sweet because I was naive and silly.

Last summer our idea of a good time was a bottle of white or pink Moscato in our wine glasses from Goodwill that had green cactus stems. I bought them because they were campy. We would sit out on the patio at night and kill a bottle of Moscato in our campy wine glasses and all was right with the world.

Then one of my personal training clients bought me a real bottle of wine for Christmas and, upon tasting it for the first time, I was like “Holy f*&king shit! How have I lived this long without wine?”

So anyway, about the Gallo Family Pink Moscato, it’s a simple, light and sweet, pink wine. It’s tasty. No oak to speak of, but pleasant notes of citrus and peach. 9% alcohol. For $5.99 it sure beats the hell out of a 2L bottle of Pineapple Fanta.

This is not the wine to turn to for solving life’s more significant dilemmas, but not all wine needs to be that heavy duty. Like making small talk with strangers, sometimes the situation calls for something light and casual.

Wine Review: Red Blend, Vin Vault Premium Wines

I’m all about the boxes lately. I’ve found some excellent specimens and it’s so much more cost effective than bottled wine. What’s not to love?

I was a little concerned about the lack of vintage on this Vin Vault Red Blend although I did find some small print at the bottom that read boxed on 12/04/16.

Xavier said he thought this wine was bland. I kinda thought so too, at first, but then it started to grow on me.

I wouldn’t call it bland, it’s subtle. Their website describes it as being full-bodied and I would not agree with that. Vin Vault Red Blend is not a big, bold, in your face, kind of wine. Rather, it has an excellent flavor but it’s laid back and mild. I think this makes it pair well with a wider variety of food and Xavier says that that is the definition of bland.

Well, you know, tomato, to-maw-toe, whatever.

I say it’s subtle, maybe not super exciting, but it’s tasty and has a smooth finish. It’s also 13% alcohol and did not give me a headache. $18.99 for a three liter box, which is equivalent to four 750mL bottles Not bad… not bad at all.