Actually, I read some reviews saying that Fish Eye wine was pretty tasty and a good value for the price. Plus I’m a sucker for anything with a cute label.
Nonetheless, $4.99 is a very low price. So, you know, expectation management.
Truth be told, I liked it.
This 2015 Merlot from Fish Eye was surprisingly nice. It’s a medium bodied, mellow semi-sweet red. Little bit of oak, little bit of plum, pleasantly smooth finish. Convenient screw cap saves a cork tree. 13.5% alcohol. No red wine headache. Xavier didn’t even get a headache from it and he is extra prone to them.
I paired it with a burger and calabacitas and since you probably don’t know what calabacitas is, let me fill you in.
Calabacitas is a southwestern dish featuring sauteed zucchini, onion, corn, GREEN CHILI, and cheese. It’s hella good with Fish Eye Merlot.
Wine from the Devil’s Locker puts it over the top.
I don’t know why the waiter decided to tell me about the all the foo-foo wines first. I mean, I was trying to look grown up. I wasn’t even wearing a Hello Kitty tee shirt or anything.
Anyway, I chose the Merlot because it was the only one on the wine list that I hadn’t already tried.
Fair warning, pull up your grown-up pants before indulging in this one. Made from Merlot grapes grown in the Central-Valley of Chile, it’s rich, deep, and clearly not from a box. That one glass made me walk a little sideways.
Absolutely excellent and velvety smooth when paired with a bold flavored dish such as steak fajitas.
Vanilla, oak, smoke, and chocolate. Oh yeah, and grapes. A wickedly attractive concoction full of bad-assery and sophistication.
I’m not sure what they mean by “jammy” but if it means chunks of grape residue stuck to the inside of the bottle and settled at the bottom of my glass then, yes, it’s “jammy”.
Tasty? Absolutely.
Goes well with pizza? Damn skippy!
Penguin-mouth factor? Low, it did not turn my teeth blue.
I would describe Dark Horse Merlot as a lightweight Merlot. Not that it’s intended for amateurs but that it’s not as heavy feeling and flavored as other Merlot wines that I’ve sampled. As previously mentioned, it did not give me penguin mouth. Additionally, it didn’t give me a headache either.
Am I supposed to be using terms with universally agreed upon definitions?
Sorry.
It’s a little dark-fruity, a little oaky and, if you squint real hard, maybe a vague notion of molasses. Honestly though, “molasses” is a bit of a stretch.
I am rapidly becoming a fan of Dark Horse wine and, possessing a certain proclivity for being a creature of habit, would probably resort to buying it all the time except for the certain inevitability of running out of stuff to write about.
But not to worry. I’m not in panic mode, yet. There are still a few Dark Horses yet to be explored and, for a wine that continues to be on sale for $8.99, you can’t go wrong here.
Ensure that you are the beneficiary of the victim’s life insurance policy.
Drug victim before drowning them in the bathtub. Wait two hours then call 911.
Marry jail bait girlfriend less than a week later.
Xavier and I watch Forensic Files while enjoying our wine in the evenings. It is our new favorite show and from it we have learned some valuable tips such as: killing someone for life insurance money is a bad plan and that most murders can be avoided simply by getting divorced.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it.
Xavier brought home this bottle of Ravens Wood Merlot as a surprise and, it was indeed surprising.
I had never tried a Merlot because for some reason I thought I wouldn’t like it. Somewhere along the way someone probably told me that they didn’t like Merlot and I just took their word for it.
Ever find yourself in possession of an opinion that is completely unsubstantiated? You know, something along the lines of believing the Earth to be flat or that Jesus rode a pet dinosaur? Yeah, it’s just like that.
So he brings home this bottle of Merlot that I think I won’t like but agree to try anyway and, low-and-behold, turns out to be completely delicious!
Who knew?
Merlot is the proverbial garlic and Corn-Nuts of wine in the sense that if you have some, your date better have some too. This is a thick and juicy dark red wine, smooth and positively decadent, and it actually does taste just a very tiny bit like black olives. I found myself greedily slurping it down like eating grape jelly straight from the jar with a spoon BUT, and pay close attention to this part, it turned the entire inside of my mouth purple.
Not realizing that such a thing would occur, you could imagine my surprise when I went to brush my teeth and found myself looking like Danny DeVito in Batman Returns.
Dude, nothing says “Kiss Me”, like penguin mouth.
Now, this purple teeth business, I don’t mean to portray it as a deterrent but just some useful information for deciding when and where to enjoy a fine bottle of Merlot.
I say at home and preferably in the dark.
NOT in the car on the way to a first date.
My recommendation: Just like not wanting to be featured in an episode of Forensic Files, exercise a bit of discretion before uncorking the plan and everything will be just fine.