Trust The Devil You Know

Wine Review: Pink Moscato, Gallo Family Vineyards

It tastes just like… pink.

It’s been a pretty long time since I’ve had any Moscato wine. Once upon a time it was the only varietal that I liked.

I call it the gateway wine. Believe it not, there used to be a time when I thought I didn’t like wine. I call it the time before wine, or B.W. for short.

Truly, this whole wine infatuation is Xavier’s fault. I learned it by watching him.

I said, “I don’t like wine”, and he said, “here, try this.”

See there, that’s how it started, but at the time I thought I only liked wine that was pink and sweet because I was naive and silly.

Last summer our idea of a good time was a bottle of white or pink Moscato in our wine glasses from Goodwill that had green cactus stems. I bought them because they were campy. We would sit out on the patio at night and kill a bottle of Moscato in our campy wine glasses and all was right with the world.

Then one of my personal training clients bought me a real bottle of wine for Christmas and, upon tasting it for the first time, I was like “Holy f*&king shit! How have I lived this long without wine?”

So anyway, about the Gallo Family Pink Moscato, it’s a simple, light and sweet, pink wine. It’s tasty. No oak to speak of, but pleasant notes of citrus and peach. 9% alcohol. For $5.99 it sure beats the hell out of a 2L bottle of Pineapple Fanta.

This is not the wine to turn to for solving life’s more significant dilemmas, but not all wine needs to be that heavy duty. Like making small talk with strangers, sometimes the situation calls for something light and casual.

Wine Review: Red Blend, Vin Vault Premium Wines

I’m all about the boxes lately. I’ve found some excellent specimens and it’s so much more cost effective than bottled wine. What’s not to love?

I was a little concerned about the lack of vintage on this Vin Vault Red Blend although I did find some small print at the bottom that read boxed on 12/04/16.

Xavier said he thought this wine was bland. I kinda thought so too, at first, but then it started to grow on me.

I wouldn’t call it bland, it’s subtle. Their website describes it as being full-bodied and I would not agree with that. Vin Vault Red Blend is not a big, bold, in your face, kind of wine. Rather, it has an excellent flavor but it’s laid back and mild. I think this makes it pair well with a wider variety of food and Xavier says that that is the definition of bland.

Well, you know, tomato, to-maw-toe, whatever.

I say it’s subtle, maybe not super exciting, but it’s tasty and has a smooth finish. It’s also 13% alcohol and did not give me a headache. $18.99 for a three liter box, which is equivalent to four 750mL bottles Not bad… not bad at all.

Wine Review: 2015 Nighthawk Black, Bota Box

They’re not kidding about the black part.

Bota Box Nighthawk Black is thick and jammy and remains black even when help up to the light.

One issue with box wine is that it can’t really be decanted. Well, I guess it could be but with that would come an obligation to drink all of what was poured because boxed wine is a lot like a tube of toothpaste; once it’s out, there’s no putting it back in.

I find this wine benefits from having a few minutes to breathe but it’s well worth the wait as it opens up very nicely. Smooth, lots of oak, jammy to boot, dark chocolate and black as the night. Needless to say, I liked it, a lot. And, not for nothin’, but it goes pretty well with a Little (filter tip) Swisher Sweet.

Another thing I appreciate about Bota Box is their concern for not trashing the earth with their packaging. The boxes are made from unbleached recycled material and are themselves recyclable. Inside, the bag is BPA free and it, along with the spout, are also recyclable. (So, recycle them!)

Other pertinent details: 13.5% alcohol and no red wine headache 😀

Wine Review: 2014 California Rose’, Menage A Trois

Way back in the beginning of all this wine business, I bought a bottle of really bad Rose’, then I tried a few more at various local wineries and didn’t like them either so naturally I assumed that all Rose’ was terrible.

As it turns out, not all Rose’ is terrible.

Just some of it.

Rose’ is wildly popular right now. Its the feel-good wine of the summer. I can’t peruse my wine feed on Twitter and not see dozens of posts featuring frosty glasses of alluring pink wine.

Am I missing something?

I started to wonder if all these folks had awful taste in wine or if I had just experienced a bit of bad luck. Suspecting that the latter was the truth, I decided to give Rose’ one more try.

If there’s one winemaker who can be relied upon to get something right, it’s Menage A Trois. I have yet to try a wine from them that wasn’t delicious so off to my local state regulated liquor store I went.

Here’s what I learned:

Rose’ should be chilled but not ice cold. It’s not beer or soda and ice cold is too cold, bringing out the less pleasant tart and bitter notes. 60-70 degrees (Fahrenheit, obviously) is ideal. At this temperature, Menage A Trois Rose is smooth like buttah, lightly sweet and just barely tart. Most importantly, it’s smooth. Life is too short to choke down wine that punches you in the throat.

I paired it with chicken tiki Masala, which was excellent, but I also think it would go nicely with a mandarin and strawberry spinach salad topped with vinaigrette dressing and Gorgonzola cheese.

Menage A Trois creates their Rose’ blend from Merlot, Syrah, and Gewurztraminer.

The label describes it as, “raspberries, strawberries, lychee nuts, and flowers.” I have no idea what lychee nuts taste like and have yet to make a habit of eating flowers but this Rose is quite delectable nonetheless. It’s also 13.5% alcohol so there is nothing weak or foo-foo about it.

Menage A Trois Rose’ is the grown up, feel good, beverage of summer 🙂

Xavier recommends accompanying your Rose’ with Billy Joel’s “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant”.

Wine Review: 2015 Cabernet Sauvignon, Carnivor

This summer, I began a journey to earn a college degree and to embark on a more lucrative career because this little piggy wants more money.

To start things off I took Intermediate Algebra, which is not a particularly advanced level math class but considering that the last math class I took was in 1994, it proved to be very challenging. I also took College Writing but I can do that shit in my sleep so there was considerably less drama involved.

Anyway, this math class was kicking my ass and there were many times when I contemplated walking away from the whole ordeal.

Unfortunately (or probably fortunately) the voices in my head are super mean.

“Awwwww, boo-hoo, Barbie thinks math is hard. What are you gonna do? Are you going to be a big crybaby? Are you going to cry to your mommy? Are you going to quit? Awwww, poor you…”

So instead of quitting, I spent every last waking moment logged into ALEKS.com forcing myself to learn some math while Xavier crept around the apartment trying not to make a peep and watching TV with headphones on. He made me dinner every night and encouraged me to try one more time every time I would throw down my pencil and say, “Math is stupid!” (because clearly it was the math’s fault that math was stupid)

Anyway, ten days before the midterm exam deadline, I was two modules behind in the class. This is not a good position to be in because at that point I should’ve been able to spend the next week reviewing all the material instead of scrambling just to get caught up.

I really wanted to quit.

But I still didn’t.

I buckled down, got up early and stayed up late, and went nose to the grindstone even harder so that by the day of the exam I was caught up.

Still, I was very anxious about the outcome.

So that morning, I meditated, did Tai Chi, worked some other voodoo, and went to the testing center.

And then the most amazing thing happened.

I made that test my bitch and scored a 96%!

Damn right I did.

I bet you’re wondering about the wine.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I brought home a bottle of Carnivor Cabernet Sauvignon.

I’ve read wine reviews that use words like “leather”, but I always thought they were just making stuff up. I’ve never had any wine that tasted like leather.

Until now.

You know when you walk into the Overland Sheepskin Co. and are enveloped in the delicious smell of fine leather that can only mean the cheapest thing in the store is $400?

Yeah, it’s like that.

Carnivor Cabernet Sauvignon is a super smooth wine that tastes like caramel and the smell of fine leather. It is inky black, even under the light, rich and excellent.

It’s 13.8% alcohol so pace yourself.

Paired with BBQ pork, baked beans and cole slaw.

I haven’t always liked every Cabernet Sauvignon that I’ve tried but this one is tasty and smooth, an excellent reward for defeating the numbers. 😉

Wine Review: 2015 Old Vine Zinfandel, Old Zin Vines – Lodi, CA

Us poor and unfortunate people who live in Maryland are not able to buy wine at grocery stores. Instead, packaged alcoholic beverages can only be sold at state regulated liquor stores. That being said, you could literally spit in any direction and hit a state regulated liquor store so scarcity is not the problem.

The problem is that, with a few exceptions, they all have the same stuff. Every store store carries the usual suspects when it comes to wine. They all have Cupcake and Black Box, Menage A’ Trois, Dark Horse, and Beringer. You know, the brands I usually review.

Stores like Trader Joe’s are renowned for their excellent, yet inexpensive, wine selection but Trader Joe’s is not allowed to sell packaged liquor in the state of Maryland. On this weekend, Xavier and I decided to take a field trip to Trader Joe’s in Virginia to see what all the wine-fuss was about.

We bought two bottles. One was a Sauvignon Blanc with an alluring description but that turned out to be pretty bad. (or maybe I just don’t like Sauvignon Blanc). The other was this bottle of Old Vine Zinfandel from Old Zin Vines. At $10.99 it was on the more expensive end of the Trader Joe’s price spectrum but absolutely worth every penny and the two hour round trip. For the time invested, I wish we had bought more than one bottle.

Visitors to the website OldZinVines.com will see that it is a brand owned and operated by Oak Ridge Winery. Incidentally, Oak Ridge Winery is also the creator of one of my other favorite wines, Old Soul Pinot Noir.

Old Zin Vines Zinfandel is, without a doubt, one of the best wines I have tried. It is fer-damn delicious and everything on the label is true, which is unusual to say the least.

This jammy elixir of raspberry, milk chocolate and mocha is silky smooth and disappears very quickly. Like being overwhelmed by the cuteness of a kitten, it is not even fair how good this wine is.

Self-control = 0

Wine = 1

If you too have driven over an hour to get to Trader Joe’s, don’t sell yourself short by coming home with only one bottle of Old Zin Vines Zinfandel.

Cocktail Recipe: Southern Style Mint Julep

Our Tai Chi friends invited us over for drinks last Sunday, so obviously we accepted.

They wanted to have a Mint Julep party and, even though I worked as a bartender in Las Vegas for three years, I managed never to make or drink one of these fancy concoctions so naturally I had to learn all about it.

The first step in making an excellent Mint Julep is to grab a handful of fresh mint from the garden.

In a glass, or mason jar, add several mint leaves and a teaspoon of sugar. Using a spoon or other blunt implement, muddle the mint leaves and the sugar. This will tear the mint leaves a bit and release more mint flavor.

Next, add several ice cubes and one shot of Bourbon. Maker’s Mark is a nice choice.

This is a southern style Mint Julep so do not add any additional water. I suppose if you had a stainless steel drink shaker you could actually do all of this in the shaker, and then shake to facilitate the melting of the ice before pouring the whole thing into a glass but, in the absence of a shaker, mixing it directly in the glass is fine too. The melting ice becomes the water that dilutes the bourbon so it takes longer to end up face down on the table.

Mint Juleps are a commodity of a hot summer afternoon so enjoy slowly. 🙂

As a post script, our Tai Chi friends also have a flock of Guinea Fowl to make sure that they never over sleep… ever.

Wine Review: 2015 Pinot Noir, Old Soul Vineyards – Lodi, CA

Yesterday, after wrapping up a fun shopping trip for cactus and gardening supplies at Lowe’s, Xavier says, “Hey, we’re really close to the Frederick Wine Ho”, which is husband-speak for, “I want to go there and buy stuff”, so we did.

Now, the place is actually called Frederick Wine House, but it shows up on my bank statement as Frederick Wine Ho so that has become it’s new unofficial name.

Anyway, a while back we were there to fetch some Cabernet Sauvignon from the Devil’s Locker but, upon entering the store, wine magnets moved my feet in a bee-line to this enchanting bottle of Old Soul Pinot Noir. I didn’t get it that day but I kept it in the memory banks for future reference.

Serious question: Is that a tree or a grape vine?

Old Soul Vineyards is actually a sub-brand of a larger company known as Oak Ridge Winery. If you scroll down on this page https://shoporw.vintegrate.com/ you can see all of their brands.

Fun fact: A few weeks ago, Xavier and I took a little road trip out to Trader Joe’s in Reston, VA specifically for the purpose of perusing their wine selection. On that trip we found what turned out to be an excellent Lodi based Zinfandel from Old Vine Zin. A bit of research revealed that Old Vine Zin is also a sub-brand of Oak Ridge Winery.

Old Vine Zin (Old Zin Vine?) will be a post for another day but, sufficed to say, the bottle didn’t last long.

Back to the Old Soul Pinot Noir, which is positively excellent, and not just because of the groovy label…

If dark chocolate and an oak tree got drunk on espresso and had a baby, it would be this wine. Boasting a prominent oak flavor (not unlike Red Velvet from Cupcake) and slightly bitter, though very pleasant, tones of dark chocolate and espresso, this is the kind of wine that makes me want to put a straw in the bottle and refer to the whole thing as “one drink”. As in, “What?? I only had ONE drink…”

For best results, enjoy by candlelight by the patio on a hot summer evening.

This is not really part of the wine review but these are the new cacti mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Wine Review: RedVolution, Bota Box

In preparation for the rest of my life, I’ve gone back to school. Starting with this summer semester, I’ve begun course work online from Central New Mexico Community College. This means that, in addition to working full time, I now come home and spend three to four hours doing homework every night. While it also explains why I haven’t been writing very many wine reviews lately, it does not mean that I haven’t been enjoying my fair share of wine and keeping notes in my special wine journal for future blog posts.

One of my recent favorites is RedVolution from Bota Box.

Upon realizing that the wine budget was rivaling my car payment, I knew I had to find a more sustainable alternative.

Enter stage left: the box.

When you buy a bottle of wine, a good percentage of the price is actually the bottle itself, the label and the cork. In other words, you’re paying for packaging, not wine.

Box wine, on the other hand, does not come in a bottle that looks sophisticated sitting on the coffee table for one night, but the difference is that it sits on the kitchen counter for at least a week. This 3 liter box is equivalent in volume to four 750ml (regular size) bottles of wine and costs about $20. Say what you will but there is no $5 bottle of wine that is going to rival the yumminess of RedVolution so, you know, math wins.

RedVolution is one of those ideal red blends. They don’t say what’s in it but it’s very smooth and exhibits a subtle smoky quality. The box says cherries and cocoa and I would agree with that claim. I’ve never gotten a headache from RedVolution and even though it’s packs a wallop at 13.5% alcohol, it doesn’t hit me very hard. The perfect end to a 14+ hour day of dealing with stressful idiots and then trying to teach myself to be smart is a delicious and calming glass of RedVolution.

Wine Review: 2014 Red Velvet, Cupcake Vineyards

Oak and alcohol.

N’uff said.

Yes. It is smooth like buttah, or velvet, as the case may be.

No. It does not taste like cake, not even a little bit.

I like this wine quite a bit though I don’t really agree with Cupcake’s description of it. Perhaps I have unsophisticated taste buds but anyone who thinks this wine tastes like coconut is probably high on something else besides wine.

Red Velvet is a blend of Zinfandel, Merlot, and Petite Sirah. They ferment each varietal before blending and then add a whole lot of oak. This is actually my 2nd bottle of Red Velvet and both bottles were pretty consistent; strong on the oak and more subtle with the fruit. It has a nice, smooth finish and is positively outstanding with chips and salsa. Blue corn tortilla chips with organic black bean and corn salsa from Aldi, to be specific.

Some people like to pair wine with chocolate but I like to pair it with salsa. If you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out.

Cupcake Red Velvet is a tasty, easy drinking wine. I plan to enjoy more of it.

Other pertinent facts.

13.5% alcohol

Around $10.

NO headache 🙂