Dear Google Sniper,
There is only one thing more chickenshit than writing a blog incognito and that is leaving anonymous and false negative reviews for a business, my business to be precise, in a public forum. Here’s the thing though, I’ve figured out who you are and, since you clearly enjoy making good use of the Internet, I thought you would appreciate my latest endeavor. I’ve been conducting a little research project, you see. Doing a little Googling, if you will. It’s a fact finding mission of epic proportions! And this here’s the best part, you’ll dig it; not surprisingly, Internet searches for the key words “Hobo Flea Circus” predictably trigger your Adwords campaign to display prominently right up there in that yellow box. Over and over again, same search, same results. Rumor has it that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, repeatedly, and expecting different results. I, however, expect exactly what I get, every time. It’s a minor variance but one that means the difference between being crazy or just plain evil. I gotta say, while the work on your website is not quite as bad as I’d like it to be, it’s probably not quite as good as you’d like it to be. I’ve heard that particularly agile fleas can fetch upwards of 25 cents per show but, despite that river of cash, you must be working those little fuckers to the bone just to keep up with your overhead. Even so, I’m sure the fleas’ sign language rendition of Joe Cocker’s “A Little Help From My Friends” must generate numerous phone calls from perspective clients. Anyway, I know you gotta be an all or nothing, balls to the wall gambler to wager the bids required to keep your campaign at the top of the Googles and I hope whoever you’re bangin’ can spot you some gas money next month cause this shit is about to get expensive.
Clicky click motherfucker.